(here be spoilers)
I LOVE LYSA TULLY BECAUSE SHE’S TRAGIC. I have a terrible soft spot for tragic characters, haha. A really cool thing about the Tully siblings is how much they embody their house words, and most of all, how each of them see more importance than one that the other two. To Edmure, Honour is the most important, to Catelyn it’s Duty and to Lysa it’s Family. Lysa puts family above everything, we see that time and time again with how desperate she was to have children and how much she dotes on Sweetrobin, also the fact that shew doesn’t actually hesitate to take in Sansa when she realises who she is. I think it’s pretty easy to infer from this that family was important to Lysa as a child too, while she was jealous of Catelyn, there’s no doubt in my min that she loved her, and her parents and Edmure. So when her own father forcefully aborts her first pregnancy that has a really huge impact on her life. Not to mention he then sells her off to an older man who she has no love for.
I’ve talked about this before and abled people got angry at me lmao but I’m gonna say it again, mental illnesses and defects seem to be very prominent in the Tully family. Hoster goes senile at an age where a lot of other men in Westeros are still very healthy, Edmure is heavily implied to have learning difficulties (Catelyn uses the word ‘simple’, but this is the 21st century not 1308 so I’m pretty sure nowadays he’d be considered ld), Catelyn has very severe depression and while it’s not entirely clear what illness or disorder Lysa has, it’s pretty obvious that she’s mentally ill (Sweetrobin is also epileptic. So many disabled Tullys! Maybe thats why they’re my favourite house) and the fact that so many people take advantage of her is something that hits pretty close to home as a mentally ill woman myself. The person who takes most advantage of it is Petyr Baelish, who uses Lysa’s obsession with him to instigate the war (The fandom conveniently fails to bring up Petyr’s role in it most of the time and just blames it on Lysa) by persuading her to kill Jon Arryn so they can be together.
Lysa loses so many of her children because of what her father did to her body, that when she finally has a child who lives past infancy she becomes obsessed with him. And while it’s an unhealthy relationship, I do have a huge soft spot for Lysa and Sweetrobin, she used to brush his hair every night and she was the only one who could wash him without hurting him and she had such high regard for him and his future that it breaks my heart. Also, most disabled children in Westeros are seen as unwanted and less than human, but Lysa has maesters around to help Sweetrobin and doesn’t treat his epilepsy as something that makes him ‘wrong’.
I also find Lysa’s death really heartbreaking, she spends the last few minutes of her life extremely distressed, she’s finally in the situation she’s always wanted to be in, her fairytale romance, and its not going as planned. She tries to attack Sansa, who she was previously planning to marry to own precious child, so it’s pretty clear how deeply it affected her to see Petyr kissing Sansa (or, to her, Sansa kissing Petyr). And then Petyr spends the last few seconds of her life telling her that he only ever loved her sister before killing her. The Tullys are given to the river when they die, and it upset me so much that Lysa was never given that honour, she wasn’t even buried, her body was just left and Petyr got away with the murder by blaming it on a singer.
After a woman who grew up with so many hopes and dreams faced so much hardship, I can’t bring myself to hate her. She’s by no means perfect and does some pretty awful stuff, but it upsets me to see the fandom attack her when (usually male) fan favourites have done things just as bad if not worse.
There’s more to why I love her, but this might give you some insight.